So for those 4 people that read my blog, you might be asking where have I been?  What have I been doing?  Why haven’t I been blogging?  And the answer is… I have nothing.  Been lazy, overworked, underpaid, busy, tired, (make up your own excuse)…

So here goes.  Couple of things..

1.  I am a jink to the Softball world.  I played on a new team and league last Thursday night.  Yep, we Lost.  Needless to say that 80% of the players were men that are 55+.  But I will have to say I was pretty impressed.  Second, the other team we played was good.  They were snatching everything going to them.  Well done on their part.  Needless to say I think i am a jinx to Softball.  I did go 1 for 2 at the plate, and caught or stopped everything that came my way.

2.  I am expecting my first child on September 22.  Ashley and I are very excited.  While we weren’t planning on having kids so quickly, we are very excited.  Yes, it is a honeymoon or Christmas Baby…  For more info on the baby. www.babyerb.com

3.  I tried out for a new show this summer.  Beauty and the Beast.  We will see what happens.  Auditions were last night, and call backs later this week.  Keep your fingers crossed.  The show will perform the middle of July through August 1. I’ll keep you updated.

Other than that, just living life.  No really funny crazy stories to tell you.  I wish I had something.  I am sure after Baby Erb is born, there will be some good one.

Thanks,

Scott

Have you ever flown a Helicopter?  If not, try your skills out here.  Oh yeah, I scored 1000 (well 988, close enough)

Click Here
Some people have worn their finger out on this.  If you are working, do not forward to your co-workers.  The rest of the day will be useless to the company.

Have you ever had a fear of Clautophobia? Being stuck for hours. Feeling helpless. This one man was stuck for 41 hours in New York.

Want to know what Clautophobia is? It’s the fear of elevators.

Check out The New Yorker’s article about his 41 hours entrapment.

This week in the magazine, Nick Paumgarten writes about the lives of elevators, and tells the story of Nicholas White, who was trapped in an elevator in New York City’s McGraw-Hill building for forty-one hours. Here is a condensed look at White’s ordeal, as captured by the building’s security cameras.

Video… lick here

I saw this on a friend’s blog but I thought I would share. Here is the link to his blog.   http://www.lawrencefamily.info/blog/el/?p=719

Now Comment and tell us your most embarrassing first date.

Jay Leno went into the audience to find the most embarrassing first date that a woman ever had. The winner described her worst first date experience. There was absolutely no question as to why her tale took the prize.

She said it was midwinter… Snowing and quite cold…and the guy had taken her skiing in the mountains outside Salt Lake City, Utah. It was a day trip (no overnight). They were strangers, after all, and truly had never met before. The outing was fun but relatively uneventful until they were headed home late that afternoon. They were driving back down the mountain, when she gradually began to realize that she should not have had that extra latte. They were about an hour away from anywhere with a restroom and in the middle of nowhere! Her companion suggested she try to hold it, which she did for a while. Unfortunately, because of the heavy snow and slow going, there came a point where she told him that he had better stop and let her go beside the road, or it would be the front seat of his car. They stopped and she quickly crawled out beside the car, yanked her pants down and started. In the deep snow, she didn’t have good footing, so she let her butt rest against the rear fender to steady herself. Her companion stood on the side of the car watching for traffic, and indeed was a real gentleman and refrained from peeking. All she could think about was the relief she felt despite the rather embarrassing nature of the situation. Upon finishing, however, she soon became aware of another sensation. As she bent to pull up her pants, the young lady discovered her buttocks were firmly glued against the car’s fender. Thoughts of tongues frozen to poles immediately came to mind as she attempted to disengage her flesh from the icy metal. It was quickly apparent that she had a brand new problem due to the extreme cold. Horrified by her plight and yet aware of the humor of the moment, she answered her date’s concerns about ‘what is taking so long’ with a reply that indeed, she was ‘freezing her butt off’ and in need of some assistance! He came around the car as she tried to cover herself with her sweater and then, as she looked imploringly into his eyes, he burst out laughing. She too, got the giggles and when they finally managed to compose themselves, they assessed her dilemma. Obviously, as hysterical as the situation was, they also were faced with a real problem. Both agreed it would take something hot to free her chilly cheeks from the grip of the icy metal. Thinking about what had gotten her into the predicament in the first place, both quickly realized that there was only one way to get her free. So, as she looked the other way, her first-time date proceeded to unzip his pants and pee her butt off the fender. As the audience screamed in laughter, she took the Tonight Show prize hands down. Or perhaps that should be ‘pants down.’ And you thought your first date was embarrassing.

Jay Leno’s comment… ‘This gives a whole new meaning to being pissed off.’

Oh, and how did the first date turn out? He became her husband and was sitting next to her on the Leno show.

I know it’s been a long time since I have last blogged.  I figured I would wait until I had a lot to say.  Well here goes.

1.  I got a new job.  I will be the new Assistant Manager of Web Product Development.  Doesn’t that sound cool?  Not really quite sure what I will be doing, but it should be fun.  My last day of work at current job is Oct. 3rd, and I start the new job on Oct. 8th.  I am sad to leave my friends (The Queen Cover Band) at my current job, but hopefully they understand and wish me the best of luck.  To TB and Ed, no more making of icons… what will I do now?

2.  I got a kick-ass girlfriend.  We have been dating for over 3 months now. For me that’s  a record in long-term dating.  Cross your fingers boys and girls, this might just get crazy. 

3.  My kick-ass girlfriend bought us a Nintendo Wii this weekend.  I thought I was too old to play video games anymore, but this system is Awesome.  Have you ever played it.  They went old school and simplified the controls to make it easier for us aging folks.  The sports games are really cool and I can’t wait to play Zelda.  Always loved that game. The coolest part is that you can download old school NES games like punch out and super mario bros.  My childhood is coming back to me.

If you want to challenge me directly, click here

I didn’t write this, just passing it along. But I thought a cool view of Heaven. Reminded me of Bruce Almighty a little bit, especially with the files.

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Here is Brian’s essay, entitled “The Room.”

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read “Girls I have liked.” I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn’t match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.

A file named “Friends” was next to one marked “Friends I have betrayed.” The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. “Books I Have Read,” “Lies I Have Told,” “Comfort I have Given,” “Jokes I Have Laughed at.”

Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: “Things I’ve yelled at my brothers.” Others I couldn’t laugh at: “Things I Have Done in My Anger”, “Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents.” I never ceased to be surprised by the contents. Often there were many more cards than expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.

Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.

When I pulled out the file marked “TV Shows I have watched,” I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn’t found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.

When I came to a file marked “Lustful Thoughts,” I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.

One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!” In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn’t matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards.

But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh.

And then I saw it. The title bore “People I Have Shared the Gospel With.” The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes. No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as I pushed away the tears, I saw Him.

No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn’t bear to watch His response And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes.

Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn’t anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn’t say a word. He just cried with me.

Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. “No!” I shouted rushing to Him. All I could find to say was “No, no,” as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn’t be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so alive.

The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don’t think I’ll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, “It is finished.”

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written.

“For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life.” John 3:16

Have you ever wondered who you were and wondered how to find out. Well Personal DNA has answered the questions for you. No more worrying. No more sleepless nights. Well not sure if I had a sleepless night about it or not. But I have found out who I am.

Are you ready for it? The moment has arrived. I am A DYNAMIC INVENTOR. This is what I am. If you don’t want to read past this…then you don’t really have to…haha

My personalDNA Report

This doesn’t effect everyone who reads this blog. But I had a conversation with a co-worker today and it reminded me of my childhood. So I thought I would share.

Incase you don’t know, I am bigger than the average bear. I have been big since I was 10 years old. So I know what it is like to carry around some extra pounds. That’s not the issue, well at least today.

The issue I have is with the clothing franchise. 1. They never have cool or in style clothes for fat kids. Yes, we know we are the butt of all jokes, but we would have liked to worn a GAP or Tommy Hilfiger shirt once or twice in our lifetime.

2. My biggest complaint is with the word “HUSKY”. Why on jeans, especially Levi’s do they have to put the word “HUSKY” on the pants? Can’t they just write the size like they do with the other pants. I mean would it hurt to write a size or two bigger instead of the word “HUSKY”? You would actually be using less ink on the label. It’s not bad enough that we are already bigger and getting made fun of but now we have the word “HUSKY” on our ass. And to make matters worse the belt didn’t cover the word. You wonder why heavier kids wore their shirts untucked? I felt like the word was blinking in bright neon color letters.

I guess if I didn’t have the word “HUSKY” on my pants back then I wouldn’t have this story to tell you now.

So if any clothing people are reading this, please help us out and replace the word “HUSKY” with a number. You would be saving the heavy kids some heartache.

It’s like they are taking my childhood and reliving it for me. Transformers The Movie, The live version, is coming out this summer. It looks like a kickass movie. They even have the original voice of Optimus Prime. You can’t get any better than that.

Not only is that movie coming out, but also I hear that Thundercats is in the works for a movie. How stoked am I? Yes, I am a big nerd that never grew up. It’s ok. Now I don’t have to. They are coming to me. So snarf snarf if you don’t like it.

Also rumors of a G.I. Joe and a He-Man. I can’t wait!!!

Ok TB, say it with me…Go Joe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! or Cobra-la-la -la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la